There is a girl in the mirror
And she looks a lot like me
This girl in the mirror looks like
I think I used to be
I look at her face
And she stares back at mine
This girl in the mirror
Does not have much time
Her eyes are dead
Her face is pale
Her posture is slumped
Like she can no longer
Fight.
There is a girl in the mirror
She won't stop staring at me
I move to my left
She moves to her right
I feel blocked
I feel trapped
By this mysterious girl.
Her eyes pierce me as
I send a questioning look
She seems to know what
She wants and
She won't let me pass.
This girl in the mirror,
She is strong and
Secure.
I wish I knew how
To be like her.
Once more I look at the girl
My mystery in the mirror
I'm curious now - Who is SHE?
Am I the only one SHE sees?
I blink, she blinks, and
I realise with a start
This girl and I
We are the same.
Both the first and
Second girl,
They both are me.
They are my
Doubt and my
Strength when I
Didn't realise I had them.
My girls in the mirror would be so proud of me
The me in the mirror is my
Fears and Failures,
Insecurities that still
Make me fall
The me in the mirror
Has made me know
I am complete.
The two of me in the mirror
Are who I was and who I will be
The me that I am is outside the mirror,
Staring at the others of me.
The me outside the mirror goes closer and looks
I see the two of me in the mirror
They aren't as different as I thought
They are still me, but
Different.
The two of me in the mirror
They are sides of me.
I look again and I see,
My two me in the mirror are
So proud of me.
November 10, 2015
June 25, 2012
Frozen Over
Frozen from it all
Love
Heat
Warmth
It crashes down inside me
Molten mess
Lava rocks
Frozen to vaporized
Less than a second
Why do I care
Why do I cry
Is it mourning
For the memory
Of who I used to be?
The pain shining our
Is blinding me
You say I'm fine
You lied, it's true
But first
I lied when I said
I love you
See my face
Frozen with fakeness
See the smile
Drop out of sight
You see my real face
You freeze up in fright
Frozen up
With a stare
Knocking me down
I know for a fact
That my eggs
Were just scrambled
My façade fell apart
Long enough to see
Beneath myself
There's no more me
You saw this and ran
Running still
Won't slow down
Won't make the hurdle
Still I know deep inside
This isn't the end
After all,
Who would run
If they were really your friend?
Love
Heat
Warmth
It crashes down inside me
Molten mess
Lava rocks
Frozen to vaporized
Less than a second
Why do I care
Why do I cry
Is it mourning
For the memory
Of who I used to be?
The pain shining our
Is blinding me
You say I'm fine
You lied, it's true
But first
I lied when I said
I love you
See my face
Frozen with fakeness
See the smile
Drop out of sight
You see my real face
You freeze up in fright
Frozen up
With a stare
Knocking me down
I know for a fact
That my eggs
Were just scrambled
My façade fell apart
Long enough to see
Beneath myself
There's no more me
You saw this and ran
Running still
Won't slow down
Won't make the hurdle
Still I know deep inside
This isn't the end
After all,
Who would run
If they were really your friend?
Let Me Know
Do you even
Want me anymore?
What did I do
To elicit this
From you
Can you just
Not bear
To see me at all
Let me know
What did I do
To get this
From you
How to atone
For the wrong
That I did
You need
To hear me
Tell me how
To make it up
I'm tortured here
Losing sleep
All my nights
Are gone
To think of you
How you never saw
What I would do
The lengths
I would go
Just all I ask
Is to
Let me know
Want me anymore?
What did I do
To elicit this
From you
Can you just
Not bear
To see me at all
Let me know
What did I do
To get this
From you
How to atone
For the wrong
That I did
You need
To hear me
Tell me how
To make it up
I'm tortured here
Losing sleep
All my nights
Are gone
To think of you
How you never saw
What I would do
The lengths
I would go
Just all I ask
Is to
Let me know
Tell Me
Tell me
You wanna see me
You wanna talk
And be with me
Tell me there's
A chance
That you won't leave
Let me know you still
Know who I am
Let me see
What's inside
Of your mind
What can I say
Or do
Or feel?
How can I stop
This bomb
From going off
Because that's
What this is
Not knowing
Liable to
EXPLODE
You wanna see me
You wanna talk
And be with me
Tell me there's
A chance
That you won't leave
Let me know you still
Know who I am
Let me see
What's inside
Of your mind
What can I say
Or do
Or feel?
How can I stop
This bomb
From going off
Because that's
What this is
Not knowing
Liable to
EXPLODE
Poison Pen
Raise your pen
Lift your shields
Guard your heart
Hide yourself
From deepest lies
Hurts
Betrayals
Takes up
Your swords
Battle your mind
Keep sane in
Your head
Nothing will
Go wrong unless
You shatter
Or break
Into
Fragments
Lift your shields
Guard your heart
Hide yourself
From deepest lies
Hurts
Betrayals
Takes up
Your swords
Battle your mind
Keep sane in
Your head
Nothing will
Go wrong unless
You shatter
Or break
Into
Fragments
Running
Running in my head
Screaming to your voice
To let you see in me
What I knew myself
For a long time
I'm not known here
I'm simply lost
Just find my heart
Its pieces glue together
If I am yours
You smile here
The world
Will be gone
Today
Screaming to your voice
To let you see in me
What I knew myself
For a long time
I'm not known here
I'm simply lost
Just find my heart
Its pieces glue together
If I am yours
You smile here
The world
Will be gone
Today
Paranoia
Stick around
Uh, yeah, I know
The shapes that follow
Haunting freely
Decide where I will be
Who I was
Where I will be
Secret sorrows
Wept so dear
Caught you now
They know you
They see you
Down to
Your very soul
It's that paranoia
Watching you
Stealing you
Following you
Sixteen
Live to the beat
Let love run out
Feel your heart surge
Beat your temper down
No time no place
Paranoia left unlocked
Into asylums we bring
A new reign
New life
Fall apart
At the start
Let it fly
Let it soar
Bring it back
To the ground
Emotions run
While friendships turn over
Sweet sixteen
The bitterest of all
Let love run out
Feel your heart surge
Beat your temper down
No time no place
Paranoia left unlocked
Into asylums we bring
A new reign
New life
Fall apart
At the start
Let it fly
Let it soar
Bring it back
To the ground
Emotions run
While friendships turn over
Sweet sixteen
The bitterest of all
Definement
Who, you say
I need to find
Where I am
Just draw the line
Send me my name
Address it to fate
Let me know when it's read
See, I'm in good hands
Labels no more
Definitions are broken
Say no more
Thoughts go unspoken
See my mind
Bring me the finds
Define what's not there
Give me a list
Honor the scraps
Remainder of life
Show me the score
Remember the ends
I need to find
Where I am
Just draw the line
Send me my name
Address it to fate
Let me know when it's read
See, I'm in good hands
Labels no more
Definitions are broken
Say no more
Thoughts go unspoken
See my mind
Bring me the finds
Define what's not there
Give me a list
Honor the scraps
Remainder of life
Show me the score
Remember the ends
Who Am I?
Thing change
Faster than light
Floating
Far away
Stay close
Don't leave me
What went on
Isn't over
Since last you saw
I came so far
I'm unrecognizable
No longer am I
Sad empty unhappy
Now I am
Happy complete energetic
Maybe it's just
Time's changing me
Or
Maybe it's
Other things
The sun
Life
Better things happen
If I look at the positive
All these things
I flaunt them
In front of you
But you seem
Not to notice
That burns me
Wishing to keep
All eyes on me
But under that
All those distractions
I always wonder
Why is this the way?
Is this all of life?
Where is the rest?
And above all
I wonder most
WHO AM I?
Faster than light
Floating
Far away
Stay close
Don't leave me
What went on
Isn't over
Since last you saw
I came so far
I'm unrecognizable
No longer am I
Sad empty unhappy
Now I am
Happy complete energetic
Maybe it's just
Time's changing me
Or
Maybe it's
Other things
The sun
Life
Better things happen
If I look at the positive
All these things
I flaunt them
In front of you
But you seem
Not to notice
That burns me
Wishing to keep
All eyes on me
But under that
All those distractions
I always wonder
Why is this the way?
Is this all of life?
Where is the rest?
And above all
I wonder most
WHO AM I?
Somehow
Somehow
I'll figure it out
Get an answer
Find my way
Somehow
You'll eventually know
Guess their emotions
Draw out a new path
Somehow
She's going home
Finally safe
Finally happy
Somehow
He's going to learn
Whose heart he will turn
For now, he stares at nothing
Somehow
We find our peace
Calm our minds
Still our hearts
Somehow
You still believe
Haven't given up
Never even stopped
Somehow
I still hope
There's a chance
For redemption
Somehow
We still prepare
Our hearts and lives
For Eternity
I'll figure it out
Get an answer
Find my way
Somehow
You'll eventually know
Guess their emotions
Draw out a new path
Somehow
She's going home
Finally safe
Finally happy
Somehow
He's going to learn
Whose heart he will turn
For now, he stares at nothing
Somehow
We find our peace
Calm our minds
Still our hearts
Somehow
You still believe
Haven't given up
Never even stopped
Somehow
I still hope
There's a chance
For redemption
Somehow
We still prepare
Our hearts and lives
For Eternity
My Voice...
My voice hovers beyond my mind
Spinning through my thoughts
It swirls incoherently beyond my grasp
As I search for my own meaning
My voice is elusive,
Hidden beyond a wall of doubt
Doubt put up by myself and others
My voice is fighting to show
That I am strong and unafraid
It fights for freedom from the cage I
Stuffed it into
My voice is jumping here and there
Trying to contain excitement at its
New found freedom
My voice is sad that joy might end
My voice is waiting for my thoughts
And my thoughts are waiting for my opinion
Spinning through my thoughts
It swirls incoherently beyond my grasp
As I search for my own meaning
My voice is elusive,
Hidden beyond a wall of doubt
Doubt put up by myself and others
My voice is fighting to show
That I am strong and unafraid
It fights for freedom from the cage I
Stuffed it into
My voice is jumping here and there
Trying to contain excitement at its
New found freedom
My voice is sad that joy might end
My voice is waiting for my thoughts
And my thoughts are waiting for my opinion
Live Past Life
See you float past
Know it's never that easy
And what's left of me
Only screams at you
To know me
To see me
All I want
All I need
Lies within you
I've said I'm sorry
I'll say it again
Just know I'll never
Truly live till I see you
I'll live half a life
Keep watch from afar
Like I do, I did
Like I've always done
Know it's never that easy
And what's left of me
Only screams at you
To know me
To see me
All I want
All I need
Lies within you
I've said I'm sorry
I'll say it again
Just know I'll never
Truly live till I see you
I'll live half a life
Keep watch from afar
Like I do, I did
Like I've always done
Side Up Side Down
Sitting staring
In a full room
Looking through glasses
Of brightened gloom
People around
Feel so alone
Wonder if at all
Mine and their hearts
Are too small?
Study each face
Make up a life story
For all of their smiles
All of their frowns
Wonder whatever
Turned their worlds
Upside down
In a full room
Looking through glasses
Of brightened gloom
People around
Feel so alone
Wonder if at all
Mine and their hearts
Are too small?
Study each face
Make up a life story
For all of their smiles
All of their frowns
Wonder whatever
Turned their worlds
Upside down
Life's Path
Running on a path
That I cannot see
My life's hopes
Taken from me
Dreams torn
Limb from limb
Won't be made whole
Never right again
Time passes too fast
To know what I want
Because what is right now
Is already gone
The date was too late
It already expired
Worry no more
No case to tire
Fate is here
And your choice is clear
Panic and hide
Scatter thoughts to survive
Because the path I'm on
Is a twisted one
No signs to show
Where roads will go
Invisible markers
Line by each side
Forcing me to the center
When I'd rather be
On the side
Because this is not
My race
Not my chance
This isn't a way
For hope to die
But sometimes there is no choice
So if I cry
My hope,
My heart,
My strength,
Will die
That I cannot see
My life's hopes
Taken from me
Dreams torn
Limb from limb
Won't be made whole
Never right again
Time passes too fast
To know what I want
Because what is right now
Is already gone
The date was too late
It already expired
Worry no more
No case to tire
Fate is here
And your choice is clear
Panic and hide
Scatter thoughts to survive
Because the path I'm on
Is a twisted one
No signs to show
Where roads will go
Invisible markers
Line by each side
Forcing me to the center
When I'd rather be
On the side
Because this is not
My race
Not my chance
This isn't a way
For hope to die
But sometimes there is no choice
So if I cry
My hope,
My heart,
My strength,
Will die
Waiting
Standing there
Staring
I know what you see
But it's not who I really am
Here, I live a lie
It's all fake, a façade
If you knew the real me
You'd have run, a long time ago
But now, as I look
You turn away from my side
I always thought you'd be there for me
But I guess I was wrong
Maybe you too,
Not only to me
But lied to yourself
About who you would be
So there have been many others
There will be more
Just a step away now
March straight to the door
Don't change your mind
Never look back
Just keep on forward
Forget all of this past
This may hurt us
It may break a heart
But there's nothing in worlds
That can keep love apart
So stop playing a game
Begin to feel
For what is near
To you is dear.
To know what to do,
Look to your inner self
Because if it matters so much
Grab hold of your dreams
Hold it to yourself
I'm waiting for a future
Where I'm not all by Myself
Staring
I know what you see
But it's not who I really am
Here, I live a lie
It's all fake, a façade
If you knew the real me
You'd have run, a long time ago
But now, as I look
You turn away from my side
I always thought you'd be there for me
But I guess I was wrong
Maybe you too,
Not only to me
But lied to yourself
About who you would be
So there have been many others
There will be more
Just a step away now
March straight to the door
Don't change your mind
Never look back
Just keep on forward
Forget all of this past
This may hurt us
It may break a heart
But there's nothing in worlds
That can keep love apart
So stop playing a game
Begin to feel
For what is near
To you is dear.
To know what to do,
Look to your inner self
Because if it matters so much
Grab hold of your dreams
Hold it to yourself
I'm waiting for a future
Where I'm not all by Myself
Searching
Smile, stand, smile, laugh
Pretend to be like
Everyone else
But you're not
You're way too
Different
Try to find
Yourself
Pretend to be like
Everyone else
But you're not
You're way too
Different
Try to find
Yourself
The Answer
Breath in tonight
T'will be a brand new day
Free of worry
Full of kindness
Brimming with hope
Open your eyes
Open your heart
Let peace reign
Upon your soul
Find new thoughts
Search for inspiration
Finally it's there
You see the brightness
The light of what it is
That evaded you
Finally you see
This is what it's
Supposed to be
T'will be a brand new day
Free of worry
Full of kindness
Brimming with hope
Open your eyes
Open your heart
Let peace reign
Upon your soul
Find new thoughts
Search for inspiration
Finally it's there
You see the brightness
The light of what it is
That evaded you
Finally you see
This is what it's
Supposed to be
Open Eyes
Get away
Need a change
Turn around
Put your feet
On the ground
Take your head
From the clouds
Open your eyes to this world
Need a change
Turn around
Put your feet
On the ground
Take your head
From the clouds
Open your eyes to this world
Starlight
Show in stone
What will be
I'm starting to worry
What will become of me
Slipping inside
A hidden shell
Shielded by stars
I live a secret life
I'm hidden by starlight
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