Frozen Over

Frozen from it all
Love
Heat
Warmth
It crashes down inside me
Molten mess
Lava rocks
Frozen to vaporized
Less than a second
Why do I care
Why do I cry
Is it mourning
For the memory
Of who I used to be?
The pain shining our
Is blinding me
You say I'm fine
You lied, it's true
But first
I lied when I said
I love you
See my face
Frozen with fakeness
See the smile
Drop out of sight
You see my real face
You freeze up in fright
Frozen up
With a stare
Knocking me down
I know for a fact
That my eggs
Were just scrambled
My façade fell apart
Long enough to see
Beneath myself
There's no more me
You saw this and ran
Running still
Won't slow down
Won't make the hurdle
Still I know deep inside
This isn't the end
After all,
Who would run
If they were really your friend?

Let Me Know

Do you even
Want me anymore?
What did I do
To elicit this
From you
Can you just
Not bear
To see me at all
Let me know
What did I do
To get this
From you
How to atone
For the wrong
That I did
You need
To hear me
Tell me how
To make it up
I'm tortured here
Losing sleep
All my nights
Are gone
To think of you
How you never saw
What I would do
The lengths
I would go
Just all I ask
Is to
Let me know

Tell Me

Tell me
You wanna see me
You wanna talk
And be with me
Tell me there's
A chance
That you won't leave
Let me know you still
Know who I am
Let me see
What's inside
Of your mind
What can I say
Or do
Or feel?
How can I stop
This bomb
From going off
Because that's
What this is
Not knowing
Liable to
EXPLODE

Poison Pen

Raise your pen
Lift your shields
Guard your heart
Hide yourself
From deepest lies
Hurts
Betrayals
Takes up
Your swords
Battle your mind
Keep sane in
Your head
Nothing will
Go wrong unless
You shatter
Or break
Into
Fragments

Running

Running in my head
Screaming to your voice
To let you see in me
What I knew myself
For a long time
I'm not known here
I'm simply lost
Just find my heart
Its pieces glue together
If I am yours
You smile here
The world
Will be gone
Today

Paranoia

Stick around

Uh, yeah, I know

The shapes that follow

Haunting freely

Decide where I will be

Who I was

Where I will be

Secret sorrows

Wept so dear

Caught you now

They know you

They see you

Down to

Your very soul

It's that paranoia

Watching you

Stealing you

Following you

Sixteen

Live to the beat
Let love run out
Feel your heart surge
Beat your temper down
No time no place
Paranoia left unlocked
Into asylums we bring
A new reign
New life
Fall apart
At the start
Let it fly
Let it soar
Bring it back
To the ground
Emotions run
While friendships turn over
Sweet sixteen
The bitterest of all

Definement

Who, you say
I need to find
Where I am
Just draw the line
Send me my name
Address it to fate
Let me know when it's read
See, I'm in good hands
Labels no more
Definitions are broken
Say no more
Thoughts go unspoken
See my mind
Bring me the finds
Define what's not there
Give me a list
Honor the scraps
Remainder of life
Show me the score
Remember the ends

Who Am I?

Thing change
Faster than light
Floating
Far away
Stay close
Don't leave me
What went on
Isn't over
Since last you saw
I came so far
I'm unrecognizable
No longer am I
Sad empty unhappy
Now I am 
Happy complete energetic
Maybe it's just
Time's changing me
Or
Maybe it's
Other things
The sun
Life
Better things happen
If I look at the positive
All these things
I flaunt them
In front of you
But you seem
Not to notice
That burns me
Wishing to keep
All eyes on me
But under that
All those distractions
I always wonder
Why is this the way?
Is this all of life?
Where is the rest?
And above all
I wonder most
WHO AM I?

Somehow

Somehow
                I'll figure it out
                Get an answer
                Find my way
Somehow
                You'll eventually know
                Guess their emotions
                Draw out a new path
Somehow
                She's going home
                Finally safe
                Finally happy
Somehow
                He's going to learn
                Whose heart he will turn
                For now, he stares at nothing
Somehow
                We find our peace
                Calm our minds
                Still our hearts
Somehow
                You still believe
                Haven't given up
                Never even stopped
Somehow
                I still hope
                There's a chance
                For redemption
Somehow
                We still prepare
                Our hearts and lives
                For Eternity

My Voice...

My voice hovers beyond my mind
Spinning through my thoughts
It swirls incoherently beyond my grasp
As I search for my own meaning
My voice is elusive,
Hidden beyond a wall of doubt
Doubt put up by myself and others
My voice is fighting to show
That I am strong and unafraid
It fights for freedom from the cage I
Stuffed it into
My voice is jumping here and there
Trying to contain excitement at its
New found freedom
My voice is sad that joy might end
My voice is waiting for my thoughts
And my thoughts are waiting for my opinion

Live Past Life

See you float past
Know it's never that easy
And what's left of me
Only screams at you
To know me
To see me
All I want
All I need
Lies within you
I've said I'm sorry
I'll say it again
Just know I'll never
Truly live till I see you
I'll live half a life
Keep watch from afar
Like I do, I did
Like I've always done

Side Up Side Down

Sitting staring
In a full room
Looking through glasses
Of brightened gloom
People around
Feel so alone
Wonder if at all
Mine and their hearts
Are too small?
Study each face
Make up a life story
For all of their smiles
All of their frowns
Wonder whatever
Turned their worlds
Upside down

Life's Path

Running on a path
That I cannot see
My life's hopes
Taken from me
Dreams torn
Limb from limb
Won't be made whole
Never right again
Time passes too fast
To know what I want
Because what is right now
Is already gone
The date was too late
It already expired
Worry no more
No case to tire
Fate is here
And your choice is clear
Panic and hide
Scatter thoughts to survive
Because the path I'm on
Is a twisted one
No signs to show
Where roads will go
Invisible markers
Line by each side
Forcing me to the center
When I'd rather be
On the side
Because this is not
My race
Not my chance
This isn't a way
For hope to die
But sometimes there is no choice
So if I cry
My hope,
My heart,
My strength,
Will die

Waiting

Standing there
Staring
I know what you see
But it's not who I really am
Here, I live a lie
It's all fake, a façade
If you knew the real me
You'd have run, a long time ago
But now, as I look
You turn away from my side
I always thought you'd be there for me
But I guess I was wrong
Maybe you too,
Not only to me
But lied to yourself
About who you would be
So there have been many others
There will be more
Just a step away now
March straight to the door
Don't change your mind
Never look back
Just keep on forward
Forget all of this past
This may hurt us
It may break a heart
But there's nothing in worlds
That can keep love apart
So stop playing a game
Begin to feel
For what is near
To you is dear.
To know what to do,
Look to your inner self
Because if it matters so much
Grab hold of your dreams
Hold it to yourself
I'm waiting for a future
Where I'm not all by Myself

Searching

Smile, stand, smile, laugh
Pretend to be like
Everyone else
But you're not
You're way too
Different
Try to find
Yourself

The Answer

Breath in tonight
T'will be a brand new day
Free of worry
Full of kindness
Brimming with hope
Open your eyes
Open your heart
Let peace reign
Upon your soul
Find new thoughts
Search for inspiration
Finally it's there
You see the brightness
The light of what it is
That evaded you
Finally you see
This is what it's
Supposed to be

Open Eyes

Get away
Need a change
Turn around
Put your feet
On the ground
Take your head
From the clouds
Open your eyes to this world

Starlight

Show in stone

What will be

I'm starting to worry

What will become of me

Slipping inside

A hidden shell

Shielded by stars

I live a secret life

I'm hidden by starlight

Goodbye

If I ask you something

Just tell me the truth

If you only lie to me

Just stab the knife in deeper

When I ask for your time

Don't make excuses

Just answer me straight

There's no time for riddles

Unless you tell me to

I'll just assume the worst

Say for me what's best

Tell me you fought for me

Just never turn back

Into the creature you were

Never slide back

You will be lost to me

Slink back in line

Stay right at my side

You will never tell me

Goodbye

Seeing It Now

I see it now

How we used to be

I remember how

We used to laugh

Used to be so close

I envy you

Your peace of mind

Not guilty of anything else

All that time I had never seen

Anyone so close before

I hoped it would last

And it almost did

I would seek you out

Ask you many questions

We laughed till we couldn't anymore

We went though everything

Together as one

Then things started

We left each other

Began a downhill, downward spiral

Now we stand alone

We face  what was left

Try to clean up what can be saved

What happened Leyna?

Why have we been so silent?

I'll never know what happened

Why it did

Why did it have to end with you?

Our friendship was a long one

I fear it may be at an end

Why did it change?

Why have we been

So close, so far?

I need to know

Is it killing me?

Is it killing you?

How has this been?

I see it now,

Though you do not

And here I see

It's far worse from within

See It In Your Heart

I see it in your heart

But even though you don’t

Still it' s there

It's everywhere

See it on your face

I see that all the time

See it in his face

I see the reason why

It's all around him too

Know it must be true

See the birds fly cross the wind

High and free, pair of two

As are you

I see a sign

I know they show

Love is in the air

Not mine, but yours

Clear as a moon in the night

See it in the day

Even clearer in the night

See the love

Though you still don't

I see it all around you two

You may deny what I do see

My eyes may lie

My soul will burn

I know of what I see

You are in love

Love cannot be beat

You must see it still

As it forever will

The stars shine bright

Know that love will be

As constant as the stars

Loving You

As soon as we were walking

Quietly in the dawn-lit sky

We knew our hearts together

Together as one

Out the open end of Life

Never seeing what’ll hit us now

Just see the happiness

I have created for you

Give me your hand

Give me your promise

Tell me you love me

Just need to hear it from you

Hear it, say it, know it

Just say you know it’s true

‘Cause I know you know

Just need to hear you say it

Need to hear it from you

Want to hear a verbal promise

Have to see you love me too

Have to hear it

Though I know that you knew

All it takes is me just loving you

Lost In Plain Sight

Lost, so lost

Don't know what

To do my heart says

Do this but I know

That I can't

My soul is aflame

Burning with envy

Can't let you see

Though its hidden,

Hidden in plain sight

Live though a lie

Never see the truth

See my head in my hands

See me living through

This lie we all call life

Lies, lies, always there

Lies, lies siting everywhere

Never the truth

Never all right

Always confused

So it's always night

Badness In Honesty

 I can honestly say

You’ve been on my mind

I look at your photograph all the time

These memories are a bittersweet

They hurt so bad, yet

I need them to live

I see you yet I do not

Realize that I need you

You see me and you don’t recognize the

FAULT I feel is mine

I never should have

Never stop to think about

The fact that he

Was yours first

I see you and I FEEL this guilt

never notice the way I wince

You see me but you see a screen

See what I want you to see

Nothing more

Nothing less but a

Perfect screen that

I hate more than anything

If you saw me you would leave

If I knew then what

I know now, we never would have

Been so in the dark

I need the light I

Hated the dark

Never wanted to be there

Had to go so I never let you see

The horrible paranoid beast 

Broken

You said you loved me

Said you wanted me

You never did

Thought so wrong

I was led astray

I never saw

Close to the top

How you felt

I need to know

Do you want me

In your life

Should I stay and fight

Or stay safe walk away

What will be

Will love win out

Will this ever end

I see a new pain

Never existed

Now from my first love

I bear new wounds

Not been seen

Is what you have done

I never knew what was

I never knew what will be

I only know what is

Read Me

I thought

You were different

You said

You loved me

Now you lie

I see straight

Through

Fooling no one

Do you read me?

I waited for you

You never showed

I called you

But no answer

I hope you

Still know me

Do you read me?

I gave you

Another chance

Felt the end

I saw the

Choice you made in your eyes

I see what

I made you do

Do you read me?

I saw through everything.

I wondered if you knew.

When you threaten me, no reaction.

Threaten yourself, and I'll do anything to stop it.

Now I wonder if you'll see

Life

One minute

Next second

Then you're swirling

Lost in thought

Heartbreaker

Told you once

Won't say it again

Loved you forever

But now its over

Say I'm your strength

Well, you're mine too

Not a day goes by

Where I don't wanna cry

Tears are no good

Just run from your fear

Hide deep inside

Stronghold of your heart

Keep it down

You'll never know?-that's a lie

Cold inside

Frozen over

Belong to an ice queen

Ice cold emotions

That’s what you see

But under the surface

You find me

Standing in lava

Boiling in hate

You've never known

I'm out of the race

Been out from the start

Don't know what to do

I'll watch and I'll learn

See me copy you?

I play on my skills

A smile

Here or there

Never let them see

How they're killing me

They tell me I'm sensitive

Learn to harden up

But how can you toughen

Without losing yourself

Inside I am burning

Aflame with no heart

Inside I am stirring

See me melting

That hot

I close myself to all others

Stick a grin on my face

Inside I am asking

What's wrong with this place?

I can't feel anything

Nothing lets me know

When will I be happy

When will I know joy

All I feel is alone

And depressed

And you know

The price you will pay

Never nearly enough

You say salutation

You greet me each day

Deep down though I see it

Using me

Playing me

I'm expendable aren't I?

The girl with no friends

So take what I have

Leave me none of my heart

Take it all

Rip it up

'Cause all I'll feel

Is you breaking my heart

Tighter

Hold me

Love me

Never let me go

Keep me close

Hold me tight

In dark

In light

Love will fade

Love while it lasts

Start today

You can have anyone

Pick your lover

Be all you are

Don't ever change

Never be strange

If you lose

Who you are

Then what that means

You're not you

Not a star

Just a shell

Of what was

No more

Never will be

Longing Heart

Just once could I say?

How much I missed you today

My heart is yours,

My breath with you,

Yet you still turn away

I live for you

Though unaware

I'm hung in chains

Unthinking what love may do

When I try to show

You never look-

I caught you with my eyes

Silent my jumping heart,

Silence my pleading lips

Though I be young,

Though you are too,

I know within

My love will lie

Hidden beneath a burrow,

Hiding behind a bright face

Unyielding of emotions

Though below my pulse will race

Blindly

I'm waiting

You've never shown

I see you here

I'm watching you too

You know I'm here

You choose to ignore

Though once I was dear

Hidden inside

All thoughts a mess

Look at me now

It's my last request

Enough is enough

How can I live

If you won't let me in?

I say sorry for things

What I've done and I've not

You say you're done with sorry

Move on in your life

I try to patch up

What is left between us

Never knowing

What I think

Will always be wrong

I loved you then

I think I love you still

It's inceredibly awkward

So I ignore you

You see this wall I put up

It's a show for people

They know not who I am

Know not who I be

Hear Me

Oh heart

Be silent

I do not hear

The words you speak

If I could hear

I would be better off

As I try to see

What it is in store for me

Is it love?

Is it hate?

When will it be

Or have I asked too late

Tell me in a way

So I will know without a doubt

Let me know

So I can say my own vow

Falling Out

Falling out

­­­­­­­In circles

Spinning

Round and round

One side to

Another

Seeing you smile

Worth it all the while

Too bad I know

It must come to an end

Heart keeps

Falling

Falling

Falling

Deeper and deeper

Until it stops

Put on a smile

Hide your fear

What they don’t know

You’re already here

Knowing their plan

Breaking you down

Holding tighter

But you still

Fall apart

You know what they see

Smiling

Laughing

They think

You don’t know

Their plan

To end

The best

Time of your life

Being with them

Always makes you

Smile

Used to be easy

Now you can’t

Get out of denial

Why would they

End it

You thought

It went so well

You see it’s

Almost over

You won’t waste

Any time

Next day

You confirm

My thoughts

It’s the worst

It’s over

It’s done

Don’t waste

Any more time

I’m finished

I’m done

Get out

Of my mind

Time

It may change

It may wither

Time will be different

All ye come hither

To a world full of grace

Change it with care

Make no mistakes

The clock will not undo

The ashes don't reform

So when I ask you

Just like before

You're not getting younger

No matter what you do

Age with a spirit

Keep your mind

Always with you

Know

What would change you

What would make you notice?

Have you seen

What's gone within?

Lost inside

But though I try

No good no more

Won't bother to try

I'm lost inside

Won't let you see

What I try to hide

Behind everything

So deep inside

Lost in me

I'm in too deep

Love

It's gone

It's finished

Never here before

Far from my love

Been dead forever

Away for a time

Gone for a day

Banished an eternity

Gone

It will never

Be back